Recently, I often hear that something is wrong with sex. The time of isolation, spending time together 24 hours a day due to COVID-19, does not help to improve our sex life.
Moreover, many couples who have been in long-term relationships stop somewhere along the way instead of having better and better sex. Boredom and routine appear. Each side knows what to do to make the other one feel good, but there is no hint of spice or emotion in it. More like a familiar reality.
I recently read that if couples see no sex in their relationship, that’s very good news because it means that we finally see that sex is important, that it cannot be marginalized. The only question is what to do with this knowledge. If you don’t know – below is a hint.
Don’t roll your eyes. Read on. We still believe that sex is done, not talked about. Time to get out of this medieval era. There is no good sex without talking. Sure, it’s always wonderful in the beginning, but once you know your bodies inside out, it’s worth going a step further. The sooner we start talking, the better.
Sure, we can’t talk about sex, what turns us on, what we want to change. Because we want to change, because our preferences change over time. We want longer, stronger, or shorter, in a different place, different position. Who should we tell about it, if not our partner, after all we trust him and feel safe with him. If you have a problem with speaking – write an e-mail, text message. Let it be: “I wish you would put two fingers in my pussy under the table while we are having dinner with your mom.” And it does not have to come to this (although it would probably be nice), but it is already a pretext for conversation and openness.
Give up shame, correct yourself, stop thinking of yourself in terms of wife or mother, just see yourself as a lover. This can make things easier.
What kills good sex is taking it deadly seriously. We are so serious in it, we want to do well, look good. And sex is fun, fun, joy. It gives us a lot of positive energy and can be really fun if we let each other do it.
We no longer play with dolls or cars, we have each other. Laugh, try even this banal idea with licking something you like – chocolate, whipped cream, whatever you think of it. And don’t think you have to look super sexy, like a porn star. Come on, turn off that goddamn thinking, have fun, invent games, play undress, use gadgets – for a fan, not as if you’re getting ready to become specialists in sex.
I know this is going to sound scary, but just as sometimes men don’t know where the clitoris is, so also women don’t know about penis structure. But where does it have the most sensitive spots, how to stimulate it, where should I press harder, and where less? What places in a man are the ones worth touching to make him feel extremely surprised. You know, there are tons of movies that tell you how to give him a blowjob, why not take advantage of them.
And the other side of the coin – gentlemen, women are not made of pussy, vagina and tits. We really do have many erogenous zones that are worth looking for, learning more about them.
Knowledge about your own body. How is a guy supposed to know how to do us well, if we don’t know it ourselves, we don’t know our bodies, we don’t touch or watch. You really don’t get bad at seeing your pussy, she doesn’t bite. It is known that it is easier for men, because for them to take it out and pull it out may already be enough, but not always – right, gentlemen?
And when you talk, have fun with sex, learn a bit, it will be time for a little bit of madness. In the end, you dare to talk about your fantasies, maybe the less crazy ones, but you have to start somewhere, and over time about the deeper ones. Go together to a boutique with erotic gadgets.
Go somewhere for the weekend just for the two of you, to a place that will relax you, wind up positively and allow you to leave everything frustrating for a moment behind you.
Without good sex, a good relationship will not survive. Sure, she can pretend it’s okay, that in the end nothing happens. But is it really worth giving up on your own shame, unjustified resistance?